As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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