Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
