Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
