fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize