You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
