put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
