Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
