I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
