just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
