don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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