how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
as a side note pls kill me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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