Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize