If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
