I think my vagina is haunted
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
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