And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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