I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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