someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
only you would photoshop your dick
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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