You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
