At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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