Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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