We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He passed out mid-signature
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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