I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
