UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize