I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
