i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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