Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
