actually, I'm a sock model
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
