Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Your penis caused this!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
