And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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