is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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