just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
