so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
