Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
