My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
