I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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