you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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