there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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