Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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