So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
