the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
