After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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