how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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