this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
