I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
