so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
