we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
They have beer where we have blood.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
