I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
