i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
