oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
