Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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