9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
