Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
