she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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