Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
