whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
