You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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