...so i touched it.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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