You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
