i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
