I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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