you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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