cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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